It is three past eight and again I am alone here in Room Number 123 of CPS, JNU. It was the month of July when Amar said me to come here in centre and study here only. From then, I started loving this place. I only love very few places in JNU. Chandrabhaga Hostel was one of those places. Another is behind Ganga Dhaba, sitting on rocks and looking at the flights and sunset. It's not very famous place like stupid PSR but it's better for me. I spent a lot of nights here in CPS alone and alone only after dinner. I really believe, in the late night, Room no. 123 turns up like the face of our love when she/he wake up in the morning - Innocent, deepness and tranquility.
Sometimes, I think, if someone wants to characterise me or define me, how would I turn up in someone's imagination? How would I look like in someone's thought? I believe, it couldn't be anything but only rude, hypocrite and suffered with the banal trauma of anxiety.
What is beautiful is also brutal! What is gorgeous is also trauma! What is awesome is also shock! What is intelligent is also privilege! What is the best is also evil!
I again want to come back to this question, my rude behaviour! Should I change it? Even, it is possible to change it? Or why should I change it? For this fucking selfish, immoral and unethical world? Why should I care about this masked people? Rudeness is the answer of those pain and suffering of people who got exploited and oppressed by this so-called high cultures humanity! Hypocricy is the answer of those tortures of several years which was depicted as natural and god-given by the owners of humanity! Anxiety is the answer for all struggle and all resistance which was brutally crushed and suppressed by the protectors of humanity. I am rude, hypocrite and suffered with daily traumatic invasion of anxiety. It is; I am.
Room No. 123,
CPS - JNU.
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